To Our Daughter..

   March 9 , 2021    Now that I'm officially in the second trimester, I can feel so many changes. For starters, my nausea has thankfully gone away which means I can finally get real food in my system. From weeks 1-6, I rarely had any major symptoms except cramps and painful stomach aches. Then, I annoyingly got a stiff neck that lasted a whole month! After I got to hear my little one's heartbeat at my 9-week appointment, I even took up yoga for a short time because my whole body felt very achy. If I had to choose the worst times though, it would have to be between weeks 8-10 because my nausea was terrible-- granted I never actually threw anything up, I was just gagging A LOT . I was nauseous whether I had food in my system or not. I even carried crackers and ginger in my bag just in case.     Eventually by the start of 11-weeks, my nausea went away and since then, I've only felt it twice, THANK GOD! Another expected symptom I've gotten is sensitivity t...

  March 8 , 2021    I was really excited for today's appointment since it was the very first time your daddy got to see you! Despite all the pains you've been giving me in the last few days, I knew today would be worth it once the doctors confirmed you were healthy. The first thing the sonographer asked was if they could determine your gender today, if we would like to know and of course we said yes. Once you came on the screen, daddy could not keep still. He even told me how anxious and nervous he was seeing you for the first time. First the nurse measured behind your neck and said everything looked good, then she moved on to show us your arms, hands, legs, and feet. She said you were about 2.5 inches long too! While inspecting your bottom, she said "By the looks of it, I say there's an 80% chance that your baby is a girl ." I immediately looked at your dad and smiled. In the last few weeks, I repeatedly said that I felt like you were a boy but your dad insisted ...

  February 16, 2021    Because I'm considered high-risk due to my previous recurrent miscarriages, my doctor had recommended I do a 1 hour glucose test in my first trimester to test if I had diabetes. I read that the orange drink tasted like Orange Fanta and decided to go with that which actually wasn't that bad, just pretty sweet, even for me. I was instructed not to drink or eat anything within the hour though. After the hour, they drew 4.5 vials of blood and I was on my way. Now I have to wait for the results!!   February 25, 2021    Today was my second OB appointment and the doctor announced that it was my official dating scan day. That basically means whatever my baby measures is the date they're going to go with for the rest of my pregnancy. Obviously it's not going to be exact, but I was still excited because seeing my baby on the screen is always my favorite part of these appointments. Turns out I ended up being 4 days ahead from my first appointmen...

  February 9, 2021    I've been spending the last 1.5 weeks searching for a new OBGYN since I felt that my last one (whom I experienced the last 3 miscarriages with) wasn't helpful at all. I read about this new location on Yelp and it had lots of convincing reviews that I just couldn't turn away from. I'm super excited about this new journey with more compassionate doctors!   February 10, 2021    I was bummed Nes couldn't come with me to my appointment since he went to get the 1st dose of the Covid vaccine around the same time as my doctor's BUT good news! There is definitely a baby cooking in there! The nurse measured me at 8 weeks + 3 days and I even got to hear a strong heartbeat. I couldn't let myself feel much emotions though since a part of me will always  be worrying about what could go wrong. It was reassuring hearing the doctor say "Once we've confirmed a heartbeat, your chances of miscarriage immediately drops to x%." From a first imp...

  January 30, 2021    I haven't done any extra tests in the last 2.5 weeks because I'm still in denial, but today marks 9 weeks since my last period which means I'm officially longer than the other 3 pregnancies. I don't know whether to start accepting it or still be doubtful. In the 2 weeks of being unemployed, I've been focusing on listening to my body and trying to stay healthy. When I received a positive test the first time, I immediately began taking prenatal vitamins again just to be sure. This morning I got bored and decided to partake in a little science experiment. I read that after a certain amount of weeks in your pregnancy, the HCG levels in your urine eventually level out causing your test line to become lighter. The sciencey part of this was if you diluted your urine with a bit of water, the test line would become dark again. I wanted to play around and try this, and of course the bigger part of me just wanted to make use of the 25-pack of Accumed Preg...

January 12, 2021    I've been wondering for a few days about whether I should take a pregnancy test or not. I'm only 10 days late on my period and from what happened in the past 4 months, I'm not getting my hopes up. If you don't already know, I've been THROUGH IT all 2020. I got pregnant in February and miscarried in March at 5 weeks. Then I got pregnant again in August and miscarried in September at 7 weeks. Not even one menstrual cycle had passed when I conceived yet again in October and lost it once more in November at almost 9 weeks. Nes & I agreed to give my body a break in December and decided to stop trying. Since I'm only 1.5 weeks late on my period, I think the chances of me being pregnant again are slim. I still have hope, but I know better than to get excited only for my body to let me down again.  January 13, 2021    When I woke up this morning to get ready for work, I decided to use the last test I had. I couldn't handle the curiosity eatin...